One of our favorite photos from Nick and Melissa’s wedding is of the two of them holding hands beneath their floral arch, with the water just behind them. Look closely and you’ll see a white cord draped around them both. It’s called a lazo, and it symbolizes their unity in marriage.

Their ceremony got us thinking about the little moments couples make their own. If you’re planning your wedding, here are five ideas to bring to your officiant.

1. Pour different colors of sand into one vase

Pick two colors you’d love to display at home and take turns pouring them into a clear vase. If you have kids and want them to be part of the moment, give each of them a color to add.

2. Let your loved ones hold the rings first

In a ring warming, loved ones hold your wedding rings for a moment and silently share a wish or blessing for you. You could keep it simple and invite just a few people in the front row to take part before you exchange rings.

3. Write letters to open on your first anniversary

Write each other a note before the wedding and tuck both envelopes into a box during the ceremony. A year later, open them over dinner and read what you were each thinking right before you got married.

4. Pot a plant together

Add a little soil to a potted plant during your ceremony, then take it home. You could even use cuttings from a family member’s garden if there’s a plant that reminds you of home.

5. Give someone you love a reading

Ask a sibling to read a poem you both love, a grandparent to share a blessing, or a friend to read a few lines from a book that means something to you. The person you choose can make the moment just as special as the words.

If you’re deciding what to include, start with something you already share or someone you’d love to have beside you. That might be a tradition you grew up with, or it might be the first time anyone in your family has done it.